THE SKINNY | Is Self Love The Missing Piece?

Is self love the missing piece to the puzzle when it comes to weight loss? When this study first crossed my desk, I rolled my eyes. Pretty hard. We all know we need to be nice to ourselves. That internal voice tends to be the very worst critic. I don't think a study was necessary. I do however think, it's an important reminder for all of us to create a space for self compassion and talk to ourselves with kindness.

Now, this wasn't your typical study. It's hard to actually pull statistical data when you are looking at something as subjective as self compassion. But the researchers were able to make some pretty strong correlations. So take a read. I mean it's not like loving yourself more is a bad thing.

The researchers decided to take a look at the relationship between self-compassion, body image, and eating habits in mothers.

The researchers recruited 100 moms to fill out a series of online questionnaires about:

• Self-compassion (rating statements like: “When I’m going through a very hard time, I give myself the caring and tenderness I need.”)

• Body esteem (rating statements like: “I like what I see when I look in the mirror.”)

• Diet quality (how much of their diet was made up of fresh fruits and vegetables, for example)

• Intuitive eating (rating statements like: “I trust my body to tell me when to eat.”)

• Emotional eating (rating statements like: “When I feel lonely, I console myself by eating.”)

After pulling all the data they were able to determine that moms who rated higher on the self compassion scale had diets that were higher in quality, they followed intuitive eating patterns, they didn't often experience emotional eating. What was also super interesting was that if the the mothers had high levels of self compassion they also had levels of body esteem.

So how does one even put this in practice. I doubt hugging yourself as you sit on the couch is really the answer. So let's take a dive into what self-compassion means.

There are three main components to self- compassion:

• Mindfulness: Being nonjudgmental and consciously aware of what you’re doing, thinking, feeling, and experiencing.

• Common humanity: Recognizing that we’re part of a greater whole, and not isolated weirdos with unusual problems.

• Self-kindness: Being generous and decent to yourself.

For me this looks like acknowledgement followed by growth.

Acknowledgement | It happened. You ate all 500 of the chocolate covered almonds from Costco in 24 hours. Your angry at yourself. Wondering why this always happens. Take a deep breath. It happens to everyone. No one is perfect all the time. Mess ups are inevitable, the key is in how you respond after.

Growth | Sit with it. Figure out why it happened. Then take steps to get yourself back on track and set up for success.

To give you an example; yesterday I was face first in a bread bowl at Panera. I honestly was overwhelmed, frustrated, lacking sleep and the ONLY solution was broccoli cheddar soup in a bread bowl, with a side of bread. I knew exactly what was happening when I left my house, and still I LET IT HAPPEN. As a health and nutrition coach, I try to keep my focus on foods that are nutrient dense and lower in carbs, but that doesn't mean I 'm not human. I feed my feelings every once and a while and so can you. Now, this isn't to let you off the hook or to give you the freedom to create a pattern of bad habits. After all, we are in charge of our own health and wellness. This does mean, give yourself grace. Acknowledge the behavior, accept that it happened, and grow from it. For me this looked like taking a hot bath, writing down my feelings, and getting a good night sleep. I woke up this morning feeling refreshed, good about myself, and got right back on track. You can do the same. Don't let one bad meal choice derail you from your goals. I think we have all done this at some point. You know the mentality of "well I already messed up, might as well GO BIG or GO HOME" It was ONE meal. It doesn't have to be an entire day, week, or month. There are going to be plenty of bumps on this journey of wellness. Ride them out, hold on tight, but make sure YOU STAY ON THE ROAD. You've got this!